All about Statistics

STATISTICS

There are lies, darned lies, and statistical outliers.

Statistics means never having to say you’re certain.

Statistics is the art of never having to say you’re wrong. Variance is what any two statisticians are at. – C.J.Bradfield

A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

A statistician is a person who stands in a bucket of ice water, sticks their head in an oven and says “on average, I feel fine!” – K.Dunnigan

A statistician drowned while crossing a stream that was, on average, 6 inches deep.

Most people use statistics the way a drunk uses a lamp post, more for support than enlightenment.

Figures don’t lie, but liars figure. – Samuel Clemens (alias Mark Twain)

Are statisticians normal?

An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician were moose hunting in northern

The weather man is never wrong. Suppose he says that there’s an 80% chance of rain. If it rains, the 80% chance came up; if it doesn’t, the 20% chance came up!